Lesson #2

My youngest daughter asked me yesterday what does "the sky's the limit" mean?  What a great question, and a great title to this picture I had taken of her recently...  To me, it means to have a vision and to have the courage to go after that dream.  I also just finished Paul Coelho's "The Alchemist", so this topic of finding one's personal legend/going after a dream before it's too late/beating down the fear of failure is foremost in my mind...

Great New Beginnings

After a magical and loving Christmas holiday spent with family far away, I am ready to take on 2012.  The old year has been put to bed and I am full of excitement for the next chapter in my life- because that is what this feels like...  A great new beginning... For all of us.  Happy New Year!!!

Mommy Lesson #1

My daughter had written this in the sand and it went straight to my heart as a sign for my own life...  No more being cautious, no more putting my own feelings second and no more adjusting to someone else's expectations.  It is time to make a wave and start living the life that I had imagined!!!  Funny how wisdom can come from a fearless seven year-old who can spell...

Moments

My husband turns 39 today and I really wanted to celebrate in a big way before the big 4-0. He, on the other hand, just wanted to keep it simple. So I actually listened to him and we ended up having a really wonderful day.

Gifts in the morning before school and work, lunch at a sweet little restaurant with just the two of us, and dinner at home with the girls. Before going to bed tonight, he told me that if his time was up today then he would be die a happy man... 

I remember there are a few moments in my life that I have felt that way- and they were all after I had met him. 

They don't make them like they used to...

While I was buying groceries tonight (last hours of double coupons, but more on THAT later), a young woman behind me shoved her wine-in-a-box to the cashier (who was ringing up my groceries) so she could pick up a magazine to browse while waiting in line. The cashier, who bears a startling resemblance to Maya Angelou, looks at the rude young woman who must have noticed that she is handing a package to a very busy woman in the middle of scanning a lot of groceries, and says, "They don't make them like they used to..."

How funny, and sad. I wonder if that off-handed comment holds much truth. I would like to believe that my generation and the ones who come after, are more tolerant, better prepared and have a deeper understanding of the world as a whole. Comments that pose the younger generation as thoughtless, lazy or unimaginative are very worrisome.

I dislike the trend of "reality" TV and the reach for fame that it nurtures. I dislike the ever-growing technology that "connects" us with others and the illusion it creates that replaces live human interaction. I dislike the trend of giving our children everything and taking away their ability to delay gratification, live simply and appreciate what is around them. I also dislike the tendency to judge a whole group of people and the ease in which I have also been guilty of saying, "When I was a teenager, I never..."

It is more important than ever for us now to be more understanding, tolerant and compassionate. Our world is small and complex. We must not take a little knowledge and color the world with it. Our country is divided by politics. We must respect each other's views because, like it or not, this is a true democracy and all parties are needed to keep the other in check. Our hearts are heavy with so many wars, natural disasters and terrible news as seen and heard daily. We must remember that we are all connected to each other and we can always make a difference.

 

Show Up and Be Ready

Some people always show up on time, ready to go. My friend is such a person. Whenever we are planning to meet, she would say things like- "I will be there with bells on!" She also makes witty comments about how just showing up will put you there in life.

I am the kind of person who is usually late. I live in the moment and enjoy it so much that I forget about the my next destination. Lately, though, I have been changed my perspective on this matter.

This is partly due to the fact that I am a working mom, and I have found that preparation and the ability to be on time is critical to the entire operation of my household and work. However, I have also come to the conclusion that it is even more critical to show up and be ready for life!

It is far too easy to go on with our busy lives armed with a routine and routine expectations. Sometimes it is the loss of someone we love or a major life episode that reminds us to truly live. Free our emotions, remember the forgotten dreams, be open to what the universe is sending our way... So be present in your life and be ready.

Sunrise

South Carolina sunrise.  Just wanted to share...

Friends give friends baked goods

A beautiful thing happened this past Sunday morning...

It had been a great, but very long week and I needed to recharge myself very badly...  So badly in fact, that I was still in my PJs around 11 a.m. and left my husband to make breakfast for us (bacon, eggs, toast.. a balanced and very manly breakfast).

Breakfast was crucial and thoroughly appreciated, but I had a massive craving for something warm, comforting and sweet to go with my coffee.  I ransacked my pantry, fridge, freezer, but came up with nothing that could do the job.  Suddenly, the doorbell rang and my friend's son delivered this:

Banana bread!!!!  Can I tell you how much I love my friends?!?  They are the baked goods in the store of life...  Friendship is not required to survive, but to truly live, one must be blessed by at least one true kindred spirit...

Lovely Lemongrass Pork Chops

I made pork chops tonight and they were so outrageously delicious that my husband made me PROMISE to write down the recipe...  He even took a picture (yes, that is a half-eaten pork chop from tonight's dinner table).

This is a fusion recipe that combines the Vietnamese marinade of lemongrass, green onions, garlic, sugar, black pepper and fish sauce with the browning/cooking technique of the French.

Lovely Lemongrass Pork Chop Recipe

4 bone-in pork chops (medium thickness)
1/2 cup sliced onions
1/2 cup sliced green onions (or scallions)
6 smashed garlic cloves
1 tablespoon of chopped lemongrass (frozen is fine)
2 tablespoons of sugar (plus an extra tablespoon of sugar to make the caramel)
1 teaspoon each of salt and pepper
2 teaspoons of fish sauce (preferably a Vietnamese brand that is lighter brown in color)
1/4 cup of olive oil (or canola oil), divided

Combine all ingredients in large bowl (except for half of the olive oil and a spoon of the sugar) and coat the chops evenly.  Let it all marinate for at least 30 minutes.  Heat a large frying pan with the remaining oil and sugar (between high and medium-high).  Once the sugar turns caramel (dark brown color), place the pork chops in the pan and let it brown.  After about 3 minutes, flip the chops over to the other side and pour in the rest of the marinade from the bowl.  Cover and let cook for about 10 minutes.  Test for doneness by cutting into the part of the chop closest to the bone.  Enjoy!

Caring for my soul

I have been reading Thomas Moore's "Care of the Soul" and it has changed my life...  slowly, subtly and very deeply.  It is one book that I have not finished within a few days because I read it bits at a time to let it soak in.

One of the first lessons from the book include understanding that there should be no division within myself.  For too long have I been fragmented- between the person I want to be, the person others think I should be and the person I am.  Really, it should just be about becoming the best possible version of myself.  Of course, this is easier said than done.

But this is the journey that is worth spending the precious time of my life on...

Empty House

It has been almost a week since I've sent my daughters to Texas to stay with my mom for track-out.  Two more weeks to go and I miss them so much...

Last night my mother called and asked if my brother could babysit the girls overnight at his house.  Now I love and trust my brother, who is a very responsible adult; however, he is my little brother and he is not a parent himself.  I was torn but the girls really wanted to go and he really wanted to spend some quality time with them.  I only called once last night, to wish them good-night.  Then I really had to let go.  Is this how it's going to feel as they are growing up?

All my plans for a romantic weekend getaway with HM?  Out the window (he's recovering from a horrible case of food poisoning anyway).  All my plans to re-stain the kitchen cabinets?  Well, maybe I should do that one so I can take my mind off worrying about my children...

Word of the Year 2011- Breathe

I am inspired to find my word of the year for 2011...  And the word is breathe.

Breathing is the most essential function of living; yet, we forget about its importance and fail to do it properly - especially when we need it most.  So may this year be a breath of fresh air to remind us to let go of what is not healthy, to be mindful of what is most important in our lives, and to take the time to do the critical things properly.

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!

White Christmas

White Christmases are rare where I live in North Carolina.  The snow usually arrives sometime in January, but this year, the timing is perfect!

As I ventured out of my neighborhood today to pick up friends at the airport, I saw the most magical winter landscape out on the street...  It was as if someone has covered the usual drudgery with lovely fairy powder. The light was soft and hushed, and there was a sense of peace and wonder.  It was amazing.

I am grateful for the small moments that make up my life.  This holiday has been one of the best in recent memory.  We did not travel but stayed home.  We did not make mad shopping dashes but spent time with friends in a prayer novena.  We did not do anything just because it was expected of us but were thoughtful in how we spent our time.  The result?  Lovely dinners, meaningful mass, comforting brunches, fun-filled game nights, snow ball fights, exciting Santa visits, and time spent with people we love...

May this feeling of Christmas lasts throughout the year and remind all of us what is important.

Birthday Broccoli Casserole

Making dinner for a large group of people use to stress me out, but I have learned the secret to keeping my cool and having fun at the same time...  It is preparation (clean the house, prep the flowers, etc. the day before), attitude (it's about time spent with loved ones, not perfectionism) and casseroles (or anything that can be made ahead or does not require being served immediately).

Now I am not a big fan of casseroles, but I had just finished a Thanksgiving where I was not hosting and was only preparing the side dishes (all casseroles).  Wow, that was an eye-opener because I was done in a couple of hours and had time to spare!  So I vowed to cook up more casseroles- especially whenever I'm hosting a dinner party.

Last night we celebrated my father's birthday and I decided to make a broccoli casserole.  I was initially nervous because my father is very picky.  But I decided to forge ahead and the result was awesome!  Everyone had seconds (or thirds) and I had one less vegetable dish to fuss over as I enjoyed the party!

Birthday Broccoli Casserole

(ingredients)

2 heads of broccoli
1.5 sticks of butter
2 containers of sliced mushrooms
1 onion, diced finely
1 cup of all-purpose flour
2 cups of half&half
2 eggs
1 cup of mayonnaise
12 buttery crackers, crumbled
salt & pepper
parika
garlic powder
onion powder
italian seasoning

Heat up the steamer.  Preheat the oven to 350.

Cut up broccoli florets into smaller pieces (about 1 inch pieces).  Discard stems or save for another dish.  Steam broccoli until tender but still bright green (about 8-10 minutes).

Melt 1 stick of butter in a chef's pan (or any large frying pan).  Add sliced mushrooms, garlic powder (or fresh minced, if available) and onion powder.  After the mushrooms have browned properly, sprinkle the flour on top and cook for another 5 minutes.  Add half & half, eggs, minced onions, italian seasoning, paprika and salt & pepper.

Combine broccoli with mushroom mixture in casserole dish.  Spread crumbled crackers on top.  Slice remaining butter and place on top.  Bake casserole for about 45-55 minutes.

I served the casserole with grilled ribeye steaks, poached trout, freshly-baked bread, buttered corn, green beans and an Italian salad.  My sister made a delectable rum cake to finish off our meal.  All was good :)

Beef Roast

My beef pot roast tonight was a great success.  So much, in fact, that I had promised HM that I would write down the recipe.  Here it is:

(ingredients)

1- A nice marbled piece of Angus beef roast

2- garlic powder

3- onion powder

4- paprika

5- mustard powder

6- sugar

7- garlic cloves

8- onions
9- olive oil
10- carrots
11- celery
12- salt & pepper
13- soy sauce
14- butter

First, make a dry rub of #2-6 and rub all over the roast.  Make slits in the roast and insert garlic cloves.  Allow time (about 15 minutes) for rub to marinate and for roast to reach room temperature.

Heat dutch oven (or any oven-proof pot with lid) until it is VERY hot.  Add oil and brown the roast on both sides (about 10 minutes).  Meanwhile, preheat oven to 325 degrees.  Add onions, half of the (whole) carrots and half of the celery stalks to the pot.  Cover and place in oven for 4-5 hours.

Take out the roast.  Discard carrots and celery.  Add in remaining (sliced) carrots and (sliced) celery, salt & pepper, soy sauce and butter.  Place on cooktop and cook over medium-high heat until vegetables are cooked, but not too soft.  Season again with salt & pepper, if needed.

I served this pot roast with oven-roasted dill potatoes, brown rice and caesar salad.  

Loss

Someone close to me passed away recently...  It was unexpected and tragic.  Those of us who love her are still trying to come to terms with our loss.  We deny, we get angry, and, finally, we mourn.  We mourn for all the things that will never be, memories that will never be made with her in it...  We mourn for the person who have shaped our lives and have given us so much to miss...  But we also find peace in knowing that she will always be with us because she leaves behind her mark on her hearts.

Sacrifices

I cried after reading the story tonight about Brian Wood, the video game designer who sacrifice himself to save his pregnant wife while being struck by a drunk driver.  It is a sad story, but ultimately uplifting because of his love for his family.

There are so many cruel, senseless and violent stories in the news (especially local news!) that I have been somewhat depressed lately just keeping up with current events...  It doesn't help that we are about to have elections, are in the middle of a recession caused by greed and corruption, and cannot seem to tolerate each others' differences as a nation...  Lately, I have also seen a huge spike in Facebook postings of narrow-mindedness and hateful comments about the state of our world.  This is very worrisome for me as a "friend" and as a member of this world...  I am still debating about stopping all cable and canceling FB altogether. 

It's been a long hot summer.

Politics, finger pointing and ranting Facebook postings aside, I believe that we would all be in a better place if we could just sacrifice a little of ourselves when it is necessary and have a little more empathy for each other.  Perhaps this is why I still read the paper (sometimes it's online- sad but true), watch the news and keep up with Facebook- because I know there are also stories of love, grace and fortitude...

Great Big Sky

Now that we are back in Texas, I cannot stop taking pictures of this big beautiful sky...  I had forgotten about this expansive and grand stretch of blue that presides over my Lone Star state.  I grew up, went to college and fell in love not just on this land, but under these skies...

There is a certain ruggedness and sense of possibility in seeing the horizon for miles around.  The trees in Texas are short and very considerate because they do not interfere with the horizon at all.  In West Texas where I grew up, the trees are even better- they just remain as shrubs that eventually travel as tumbleweeds.  

This is one thing I really miss about Texas, and maybe the West in general: the sense of adventure and things undiscovered.   

Was it just a dream?

This weekend marks an important milestone in my life because it is the ending of my first week back at work! The weird thing is that I felt as if I had never left. This was running through my mind while I was driving to work in my suit on that first day back. Has it really been two years? It really seemed like just a long weekend, or a dream perhaps...

I had chosen this job because it is flex-time and for a totally different company (same industry though), but it is so similar. After much analysis and deep-searching, I realize that it feels the same because it is just a job. Being home and being able to fully appreciate the joys of my family, I am returning to work with a different perspective. Instead of questioning whether this job will give me what I am looking for in life, I am just happy that I have a job that allows me to keep my priorities in order- because I now realize that I have what I have been searching for all along.

Embracing Change

It has been exactly two years today that I have resigned from my former career and became a full time stay-at-home mom. That was a huge decision that came directly from the heart, and I have been loving this new life (after a period of transition/mourning... sounds ridiculous, since it was my decision but it was difficult nonetheless). I can say that I have treasured every minute that I have spent with Mady and Aly. I have become a better mom and a better person for taking this time away from the corporate world to be present and loving. Growing up, I never saw myself having children or staying home to raise them. Now I see the joy in all the little things that make up our home life- such as smiles in the morning when I'm no longer rushing off to work, walking the girls to school when the weather's nice, seeing their excited faces when I volunteer at their school (even though it has only been a couple of hours since I dropped them off), lunch with my husband who comes home almost daily so we can have our little lunch "date"... So many moments I am grateful for. The only thing is, now when I do go back to work, I will know exactly what I will be missing.