Sacrifices

I cried after reading the story tonight about Brian Wood, the video game designer who sacrifice himself to save his pregnant wife while being struck by a drunk driver.  It is a sad story, but ultimately uplifting because of his love for his family.

There are so many cruel, senseless and violent stories in the news (especially local news!) that I have been somewhat depressed lately just keeping up with current events...  It doesn't help that we are about to have elections, are in the middle of a recession caused by greed and corruption, and cannot seem to tolerate each others' differences as a nation...  Lately, I have also seen a huge spike in Facebook postings of narrow-mindedness and hateful comments about the state of our world.  This is very worrisome for me as a "friend" and as a member of this world...  I am still debating about stopping all cable and canceling FB altogether. 

It's been a long hot summer.

Politics, finger pointing and ranting Facebook postings aside, I believe that we would all be in a better place if we could just sacrifice a little of ourselves when it is necessary and have a little more empathy for each other.  Perhaps this is why I still read the paper (sometimes it's online- sad but true), watch the news and keep up with Facebook- because I know there are also stories of love, grace and fortitude...

Great Big Sky

Now that we are back in Texas, I cannot stop taking pictures of this big beautiful sky...  I had forgotten about this expansive and grand stretch of blue that presides over my Lone Star state.  I grew up, went to college and fell in love not just on this land, but under these skies...

There is a certain ruggedness and sense of possibility in seeing the horizon for miles around.  The trees in Texas are short and very considerate because they do not interfere with the horizon at all.  In West Texas where I grew up, the trees are even better- they just remain as shrubs that eventually travel as tumbleweeds.  

This is one thing I really miss about Texas, and maybe the West in general: the sense of adventure and things undiscovered.   

Was it just a dream?

This weekend marks an important milestone in my life because it is the ending of my first week back at work! The weird thing is that I felt as if I had never left. This was running through my mind while I was driving to work in my suit on that first day back. Has it really been two years? It really seemed like just a long weekend, or a dream perhaps...

I had chosen this job because it is flex-time and for a totally different company (same industry though), but it is so similar. After much analysis and deep-searching, I realize that it feels the same because it is just a job. Being home and being able to fully appreciate the joys of my family, I am returning to work with a different perspective. Instead of questioning whether this job will give me what I am looking for in life, I am just happy that I have a job that allows me to keep my priorities in order- because I now realize that I have what I have been searching for all along.

Embracing Change

It has been exactly two years today that I have resigned from my former career and became a full time stay-at-home mom. That was a huge decision that came directly from the heart, and I have been loving this new life (after a period of transition/mourning... sounds ridiculous, since it was my decision but it was difficult nonetheless). I can say that I have treasured every minute that I have spent with Mady and Aly. I have become a better mom and a better person for taking this time away from the corporate world to be present and loving. Growing up, I never saw myself having children or staying home to raise them. Now I see the joy in all the little things that make up our home life- such as smiles in the morning when I'm no longer rushing off to work, walking the girls to school when the weather's nice, seeing their excited faces when I volunteer at their school (even though it has only been a couple of hours since I dropped them off), lunch with my husband who comes home almost daily so we can have our little lunch "date"... So many moments I am grateful for. The only thing is, now when I do go back to work, I will know exactly what I will be missing.

Vegetarian Cooking

For Lent, we decided to give up meat and become vegetarians. We have done it before and felt like it is both appropriate and meaningful. It is a big sacrifice because my husband and I love our steaks (we are from Texas after all) and it is also a more peaceful/environmentally-friendly way of living. The problem is that we have never given up meat after having children... At first, my daughters were fully cooperative and excited that I'll be cooking from a new cookbook (excellent one, by the way, from the Moosewood Restaurant). Then they realized that this also means no more pork ribs, hamburgers, spaghetti & meatballs, chicken soup, chicken nuggets... So they tried to renegotiate with, "Mommy, can I give up oatmeal instead?" or my personal favorite, "Mommy, can I give up homework for Lent?" What we ended up doing was letting the girls pick for themselves what they would like to give up- television for Mady (except on Sundays) and climbing up the side of the staircase for Aly (don't ask, just know that this is something that is a major sacrifice for her).

Snow Days

Tonight it started snowing here in North Carolina and my children went to bed in a happy happy mood. Although tomorrow is not a school day, there is something magical about seeing snow on the ground and being forced to deviate from daily activities. For me, it is magical because I get to have my family all to myself- all social obligations are cast aside and we are stuck at home together... And I guess that is where the magic happens.

Too often, we forget about the simple pleasure of being home and just enjoying each other. I realize that my girls will grow up one day and that this time I have with them is really very limited. Maybe I should start implementing "Snow Days" for us as a family every once in awhile!!! It is a chance to take a breath and just exist as a family with no outside intervention... Until the doorbell rings and the neighborhood kids want to go play in the snow, of course.

The Ramen Girl

Last night my husband and I watched an obscure movie called "The Ramen Girl". We had chosen the movie based on 1) we signed up for Netflix streaming recently and that was one of the movie selections (more on how this has changed our lives later), 2) Brittany Murphy was the lead and I am still saddened by her early death and 3) it was about food (my other love).

The movie turned out to be really funny and unexpectedly deep. The plot is about a young woman who followed her boyfriend to Japan only to be dumped as soon as she arrived. She ended up finding comfort in a ramen noodle bowl and making some decisions that changed the course of her life. Although in the end she found her way, she had to go through a lot of pain, suffering and disappointments before she could progress to the next level and evolve into the best person she could be.

I loved this movie because I remember going through periods of my life when I felt lost and defeated. However, like Abby, I did eventually find my way through a combination of faith, love and luck. I believe that we all face pain, suffering and disappointments because it is part of our journey to becoming a better person.

Required Reading: Thomas Moore's "Care of the Soul"